


PhD for the Broken

by asianbutnotasian (takehiko_arashi)



Category: B1A4
Genre: Brain Damage, Car Accident, M/M, Secret Relationship, Slight fluff, b1a4 - Freeform, damage, slight shinyoung, wheelchair
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-14
Updated: 2015-11-20
Packaged: 2018-04-09 09:13:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4342727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takehiko_arashi/pseuds/asianbutnotasian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Red, blood, flashing lights, crunching, ringing. That's all Shin Dong-woo remembers before he woke up to see doctors in blue masks telling him to count to one hundred.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

They were driving smoothly, with Gongchan's sweaty hands clutching the steering wheel tightly.

"Okay, now just put down the indicator and press lightly on the brakes," the calm voice of the eldest member reached Gongchan's ears momentarily, before he put the words into actions.

"Shinwoo-ah! You're such a good teacher!" Jinyoung's awed voice followed from behind.

The three B1A4 members tagged along on their maknae's first driving lesson with their beloved hyung. Gongchan had been nagging Shinwoo for over a week to take him driving, for he was the first one to get his license and Jinyoung didn't count; a personal license didn't count.

They were situated behind a giant truck, the large vehicle making squeaky noises coming from the oppressed wheels. The light turned green and the truck sped off around a corner, the same way the idols were heading.

Just as they were turning the corner, a car came speeding down from the street they were going up, crashing into the overweight truck. Said truck fell back and landed atop the black four-by-four.

And all they saw was a flash of bright red, all they heard was the screeching of wheels and the crunching of metal, all they smelled was the burning of tar and the harsh stench of iron.

The giant truck only fell sideways, onto the front side of the BMW. The front side where B1A4's maknae and eldest sat.


	2. Chapter Two

Only once had Sunwoo ever seen a car crash, and then he wasn't even in it. He was with his umma, who was driving him to school, they had stopped at a traffic light and he had seen a small disaster.

Two cars had had a head-on-head collision, with each front badly damaged. But everyone had come out alive. Not a scratch on anyone. So unlike the car crash he was in.

Paramedics arrived on the scene in a flurry, checking for injuries all around. A woman in a white uniform was checking his face frantically.  
He slapped her hand away and almost screamed, "I'm not hurt! Go search in the front! That's where the injured ones are!"

The rapper glanced over at the scene of the actual damage, there were several men attempting to haul the truck off the car, with Sandeul watching silently from the sidelines, eyes filled with concern and sadness.

Suddenly, a small head started to slither out of the car, blood dripping from a cut on his forehead. Gongchan snaked out of the car in a few rough movements, cradling his left broken arm with care.

"Gongchan!" Jinyoung pushed away his paramedic and rushed over to his maknae, enveloping him in a gentle hug, wary of his injuries. "Are you alright! Paramedic! Paramedic! Someone!"

A tall man with broad shoulders and soft brown eyes came over, slowly easing the terrified leader away and gazing softly at Gongchan, calming the young singer with soothing words.

A policeman with a straight face and a thin, French moustache came up to Baro and asked, "Was it only you four in the car?"

Baro's mind barely registered the question, he was too focused on the recovery of Chansik. He blinked and turned at his face towards the policeman and replied, though slightly disorientated, "Um, no. O-our hyung is still in the car," then his mind realised what he was saying, "Wait! Hyung is still in the car! Jinyoung- hyung! Shinwoo-hyung is still in the car!"

But his leader's eyes were focused on the truck being successfully lifted from the BMW.

They were focused on the crushed body of their glasses-wearing bear, the way his legs were twisted and mangled, the way his glasses were shattered and stuck in his eye, the way his chest was ripped open and bone was displayed, and the way his long hair was drenched in blood. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, indeed it is short... For that you are allowed to hang me...


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short

Jinyoung hated hospitals; they were cold, they smelled of disinfectant and people died there on a regular basis. The leader's eyes were focused on the sparkly clean white floor, tracing the obsure pattern on the single tile, all while hearing and cringing at the sounds of monitors beeping, of family members crying and of the soft sound of surgery utensils clicking. The Jung's leg was shaking uncontrollably and for once, his hair was messy from the constant pulling at the strands on his head. 

His head lifted at the sound of clicking shoes coming towards him. Jinyoung looked up to see the tall woman in a white coat, glasses at the end of her nose and eyes slightly bloodshot. 

"Are you Jung Jin-young?" The doctor asked, meanwhile bowing in respect.

"Yes," Jinyoung stood up and faced her, licking his lips in anxiety, and bowing back.  
   
"I am Dr. Misaki Park; I'm currently overlooking Shin Dong-woo's injuries."

"And...?"

Her thin eyebrows furrowed together, creating a crease between her eyes. "Well, he has a piece of glass lodged in his left eye, he has multiple fractures all along his skull, which could potentially harm his frontal and temporal lobe and he has a pierced lung. His spine bone was broken in one clean snap, and his legs have several chemical burns which have start damaging his muscles and tendons severly."

Jinyoung looked down and shut his eyes with all the force he could muster. "And? What are you going to do about it?"

"He will need multiple surgeries and it will be a costly procedure. Since you are not directly related to Dongwoo-ssi, we do not have any proper consent to do any of the surgeries, that is, until his mother and father arrive. We have contacted Shin-ssi, but they have yet to arrive. So, until then we have put him on a Morphine drip and stabilized him, but if we don't do the surgeries soon it could cause serious damage."

Jinyoung stared at Dr. Park with wide eyes, his lip trembling and a lump forming in his throat. "Do you, do you know when they'll arrive?"

"Unfortunately, I do not. They do live in the Heungdeok-gu district in Cheongju in North Chungcheong, so it will take awhile for them to get into the centre of Seoul, but hopefully they will get here on time. I suggest you and your friends just go home for the day and just wait until Shin-ssi comes. I'm sure they will inform you when Daongwoo-ssi is out of surgery."

"What if.... what if they don't come in time?"

"If the situation is dire, then we will take Dongwoo-ssi off the Morphine for a few minutes and ask him for his consent," Dr. Park replied, nodding her head seriously.

Jinyoung glanced at the hospital door barring him from Shinwoo. "Can I go and see him?"

"Well, he's not concious right now... but you can go and see him, but please do not touch him anywhere, at all."

"Yes, I understand."

Jinyoung moved past the Japanese-Korean doctor and opened the white door and stepped inside, eyes downcast and feet moving slowly. 

His eyes drifted up and he saw it; his beloved bear laying on pristine white sheets, blood seeping through his now shaved head, onto his red pillow. Stepping closer, Jung Jin-young cast his baby brown eyes over his vocal, focusing on his pale lips, wanting to kiss them so badly. 

Kneeling next to the bed, he laid his head down on the bed and let his tears flow onto the hospital bed, blocking out the ringing, the beeping and the uneven breaths of Shin Dong-woo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short, yes, but to be fair - on asianfanfics, it looks so much longer!


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I am deeply sorry for the long wait! I hope this chapter is longer!

The first time Jinyoung laid eyes on Shinwoo was in the waiting room of the singing auditions for WM Entertainment. Shinwoo had had a soft green hoodie on, a blue checked shirt peeking out from behind said hoodie.

Shinwoo was sitting with a tall woman with rectangular glasses and hair tied back in a tight plait. Her expression was stern, but   
Her small brown eyes were soft and gentle as she looked at the man next to her. 

Each time the two of them spoke, it was in soft, short sentences. But none of them in a hostile or cutting tone. Jinyoung watched the two with fascination, though mainly focused on the "manlier" of the two.

When the broad-shoulder, bear-faced man came and called out, "Shin Dong-woo," Jinyoung's eyes still didn't leave the tall, glasses-wearing man, even as he disappeared through the entry way to the auditions. 

\--

His eyes watched the glowing television screen as the reporter gestured to the bloody body that was wheeled slowly into the ambulance van. 

"-landed on the front half of the kpop band B1A4's BMW, leaving members Gong Chansik and Shin Dongwoo stuck underneath the massive van. Fortunately, Chansik-ssi was able to escape with minor injuries, as his window had been open, leaving him just enough room to escape the wreckage. Meanwhile, member Shin Dongwoo wasn't so lucky.

"As you can see from behind me, Dongwoo-ssi suffered major injuries to his spine, head, legs and che-"

The large television turned black and all sound stopped as he closed his eyes and took several deep breaths, trying to calm himself as him mind was flooded with images of things he didn't want to remember. 

Then his phone started ringing; the annoying tone of an iPhone making his ears bleed and his teeth clench in frustration. 

Glancing at the touch screen phone, he reached out his slim hand and picked it up, sliding to answer the call. 

"Hello?" His voice was wary, almost shaking with shock. 

"Kyuhyun! Are you watching the news?!" The curious voice of his best friend answered. 

"Yes," giving short and concise answers were not entirely Kyuhyun's speciality, but at this moment he just needed to. 

"They're calling it the worst car crash injury of 2015."

"Really?" Kyuhyun raised his eyebrow, his previous trauma forgotten. "What about that crash where the whole bus fell on top of that car and they fell off the bridge?"

"Yes, that was the worst car crash, but this is the worst car crash injury. It was B1A4's Shin Dong-woo, do you know him?"

"I met him once during the star challenge, but that was it. What injuries does he have?"

"I'm not sure, but they said he has severe injuries to his head and chest. That can't be good."

"Yeah, have you met him?"

"Yeah, with Yunho-hyung, but it was mainly the other members; he was quiet and stood at the end."

"Hmm," Kyuhyun murmured, drumming his fingers on the glass table. "So? Do you want to go and visit him or what?"

"Oh yes! Thanks for reminding me! Yunho-hyung was really shocked by the crash, because he knew one of the members and because he's, you know, Yunho-hyung. Remember how he came to visit you all after your crash? And yet he barely knew you-"

Kyuhyun internally blocked his friend's ranting and started scratching at the leather couch, once again trying to dispel the memories of his car crash. He closed his eyes and clenched his teeth, as if he had just eaten something sour. 

"So? What do you say? Are you coming? Or are you just going to sit and laze about at home?" Changmin's blunt attitude shone out as he talked. 

"Yes, yes. I'll come. Pick me up in ten minutes, you prick," the Super Junior member sighed and stood up, simultaneously ending the call. 

Kyuhyun walked to his bedroom and stepped in front of the mirror; his eyes roamed his slim frame, until he came to his left hip, where the scar still stood, almost mocking him each time he tried to get away from his past. 

He traced the small brown line with his index finger, feeling each and every contour and almost caressing the mark. Sighing, he removed his hand and pulled down his shirt. 

Kyuhyun shook his head and grabbed his phone and wallet, moving out of the room and into his living room, dropping himself on the couch and waited. 

The doorbell rang, the sound resounding throughout the house. Standing up, Kyuhyun made his way to the door and opened it to reveal none other than Changmin. 

Kyuhyun stared at the tall maknae for a good few seconds until the blunt singer finally broke him out of his reverie. 

"Come on, you goof. Let's go; Yunho-hyung doesn't have all day."

Rolling his eyes, the scarred vocalist followed his friend into the black Toyota, leaning back against the fake leather covers. 

"Hello, Yunho-hyung," Kyuhyun greeted his elder politely, giving a quick bow of his head. 

"Hello, Kyuhyun-yah," the member of Super Junior noticed the tired voice of the Jung. 

He started the car and sped off down the street, not uttering another word. The ride to the hospital was silent except for the insistent hoot of cars and the screeching of metal on metal. 

Yunho pulled the handbrake up and turned off the engine, all while opening the door and stepping out on to the loose gravel on the parking lot ground. 

\--

Mr and Mrs Shin were not how Sunwoo expected them to be. Shin Jinwoo sat with a straight back and a steely expression. With a grey suit and a creased forehead, he looked just like a businessman. He looked nothing like Shinwoo, Mr Shin's eyes were sharp and cold, whereas Baro's hyung's eyes were soft and warm, though sometimes serious. Shinwoo's father had a large, pointed nose and almost pudgy features, whereas Dongwoo had a sharp jaw and a fleshy nose. 

However, Shin Eunsook was an entirely different story; with her thin and soft physique, she could have been the exact replica of her son. In fact, she looked about as young as her son, her face not looking a day over thirty. Tears stained her flawless skin, gathering at her chin and dripping on the floor with a silent splat. 

Despite the obvious age difference, the two parents seemed madly in love; Eunsook's hand resting delicately on her husband's shoulder, Jinwoo's comforting gaze on his wife. 

Baro was in the midst of analysing Han Minsuh when the Japanese-Korean doctor came out, her forehead creased and her eyes professional. 

"Are you Shin-ssi?" Dr Park asked, her question directed to the stiff and emotionless father. 

"Yes," the man stood up, bowing respectfully, "is there any improvement since the surgery?"

The woman hesitated before replying, "Well, after two straight days of surgery, it does not seem to be going well. We have managed to repair his spine, but he will not be able to regain full mobility with it immediately. His lungs have been tended to, but for a while he will need to use an oxygen tank. 

"Unfortunately, the glass was embedded deep into his pupil and cornea; we were able to remove it, but Dongwoo-ssi will not be able to regain sight in that eye." 

The delicate-looking doctor hesitated and took a deep breath. "From here on, it gets much worse; the chemical burns on his legs were severe and we were not able to save his legs. We have amputated both and, if you would like, we could add in prosthetics or blades, if he is a professional athlete, but all in all, he will be bound to a wheelchair for the rest of his life.

"The fractures along his skull did damage his frontal and temporal lobe. Dongwoo-ssi will not be able to move anything until he starts physiotherapy, and even then the chances of regaining full use of all his limbs are very low. Also, he will not be able to organise or differentiate between most things, so he will be very scattered."

After a few minutes of silence, Jinyoung opened his small mouth and asked softly, "Will he be able to talk?"

"Unfortunately, no. That is, until he attends speech therapy."

"I see. So what you're telling me is that my friend is broken beyond repair."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read, kudos and review! :)


	5. Chapter Five

The world seemed so blurred and distorted, like someone had thrown it in a cake mix, stirred and set it in the oven to bake. Everything was heated and warm, but all seemed freezing, as if he was inside a warm house in the North Pole. Focussing intently on one dark green mark on the pristine ceiling, everything became clearer. He realised he was in a sterilised room; the strong smell of disinfectant and medicine his nose like a bulldozer. He had never been in a hospital, except for when his oppa twisted his ankle playing hockey. He never really had an opinion on hospitals, that is until he had been shot in the lung by a crazed colleague with an affinity for cough medicine. Civil rights lawyers weren't always right in the head.Breathing in slowly, he felt the oxygen go into his broken lungs and leak a warm fluid inside him, also known as blood.

Darting his eyes to the side, he watched as the petite man walked in, legs shaking and tears threatening to return to mother concrete. His red hair stuck up as he walked - stumbled -past, eyes fixated on a form to the right of his watcher's bed. Observing with gleaming eyes, the watcher followed the thin, dare he say skinny, boy's movements with a precision that took the average child a lifetime to learn. Closing his eyes in exhaustion, he listen to the slow footsteps of his company.

"Shinwoo," a choked gasp exuded from his visitor. "Please, don't leave me. Please."

Sob upon sob came, filling the large room with a despairing tone. Finally, as if God himself had wished it so, the crying stopped and was replaced with the steady breathing of sleep. Closing his eyes gently, Kim Lau Min slowly descended down the angelic pathway into a serene planet, leaving the pain and desperation with our cynical world.

\--

He felt hands on his head, cradling the bald thing and pressing light kisses to his ear, mumbling incoherent words and sweet phrases. Moving his eyes upward, Shinwoo discovered that it was his mother; her porcelain skin and mahogany hair were easy to make out, especially to someone who had seen it for twenty four years.

"Oh, my baby," Shin Eunsook sobbed, placing a lingering kiss atop his vein infested head.

Shinwoo was about to lift his bony hand and caress his mother's face, reassuring her of his well recovery, but he couldn't. His hands stayed at his sides, motionless, as if unattached to his body. Trying again, the singer looked solely at his milky white skin, attempting to use the Force to lift, but they wouldn't budge.

"Son," Shin Jinwoo came over to the hospital bed, speaking gruffly, "we're going to tell you exactly what you have, but don't be afraid; your mother, sister and I are here for you and so are your friends."

And so they did, with every word breaking their hearts, the two parents told their son his future with no interruptions from him, because he couldn't. Not for a while, he couldn't. Gazing at his soft-faced mother with a seemingly sad gaze, the band member attempted to raise his head, just to see, just to see if it was all true. Shinwoo almost believed that his neck would raise and he would astonish his mother and father. But that didn't happen.

\--

"Yunho-hyung?" Baro stood up, frowning as he saw the TVXQ duo walk the long white corridor towards him, a steady frown on the older of the duo's face, while his other didn't try to mask his curiosity.

"Sunwoo-ah," Yunho said quietly, bowing his head simultaneous to Baro. "I heard about what happened to your friend and I came to pay my respects."

"Oh, thank you so much, hyung," a voice from the back spoke, tired and weary.

Bowing in respect, Yunho replied, "Chansik, yes?"

Nodding, the youngest's eyes drifted to the other two standing beside and behind the friendly hyung. Shim Changmin and Cho Kyuhyun. Bowing once again in respect to the older individuals.

"How is he?" Changmin, surprisingly, asked, lifting a slim eyebrow and leaning his shoulder against the horrifying white walls.

"They say he won't be able to comprehend most things, nor will he be able to talk or use any of his limbs. He's going to a physiotherapist and a speech pathologist, but there's not a big chance that he'll be able to speak normally."

"Where are your other members?" Changmin asked, once again straightforward and blunt.

"Sandeul hyung went to go and take Jinyoung-hyung to the cafeteria; he hasn't eaten since we got here and the news of Shinwoo-hyung's fate hit him very hard."

Yunho flicked a glance to his younger and then spoke, his voice calm but there was a layer of unsteadiness there. "Is his family with him?"

"Yes, they're explaining everything to him," Gongchan bit his lip and looked down, thinking that if only he hadn't insisted on driving, his hyung would be at the dorms, trying to explain to Sandeul the reason Donald Trump was a moron.

"Is he going back home to work on his treatment?" Kyuhyun asked, trying not to sound desperate.

"No, well, we think it's no, but the Shin's haven't confirmed it with us as of yet."

"Well, all you can do is wait."

\--

"Maybe they'll let him stay in Seoul, hyu-" Sandeul was brusquely interrupted with another one of his elder's pessimistic remarks.

"They probably won't, they'll want him to be with his family," Jinyoung jabbed his hospital samgyupsul with a look of disgust, attempting to hide the quiver in his voice.

Junghwan glanced at his fastidious leader and sighed, leaning back and pushing his pink hair out of his face with a flick of his long fingers. "Hyung, please, at least he's alive and at least there's a chance he will get better."

Jinyoung closed his eyes and thought back on when he and Shinwoo had their lover's 'trysts' outside in the hallway of their dorm. He thought back on when Shinwoo had sat with his head against the wall and told the story of when his father used to drink and gamble and throw his life away. He thought back when the eldest's face changed to one of serenity when he told the leader about the day his father had been declared sober for a year, when Jinwoo had taken his family out for samgyupsul and unconsciously made his son become emotionally attached to the food. He though about the time he sat next to him, brought Shinwoo's head to his chest and held him there, whispering soft words, "It's okay", "I'm here" and, "I love you".

\--

All he wanted to do was go home. All he wanted to do was pick up his chopsticks and eat samgyupsul. All he wanted to do was see Jinyoung in the dimly lit corridor of the dorm. All he wanted was to break up idiotic fights between Sandeul and Baro. All he wanted was to watch the news and occasionally switch to KBS.

Was that too much to ask?

Instead he lay on his back and stared up at nothing, and did nothing. Instead he listened to the incessant beeping of his heart monitor. Instead he felt the synthetic cotton of the bedsheets. Instead he smelt the disgusting stench of hospital samgyupsul left out for too long. Instead he prayed silently to a god, if there even was one, that he could still dream of having the perfect life with Jinyoung.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Yes, this chapter was short, but I swear the next and so on will be longer!


End file.
